50 Years

Fifty years. That feels like such a big number. When I turned 50, I felt a melancholy about the age - partly liberated by youthful vanity and caring about pleasing everyone, all the time, and partly deeply sad that I was on the downhill side.  My husband has the distinct pleasure of hitting that milestone today, in the midst of a pandemic, and the season of atmospheric rivers.  Welcome to 50, my love.  

My husband is extraordinary and my very best friend. He is patient, he is generous of heart, he is fiercely loyal as a friend and unendingly supportive of my crazy. Our children treasure him beyond words. Each of them have their own close relationship with him and, while I cannot speak for them, I believe that he is their world.  

Fifty years. It presents us with a opportunity to reflect on so many things; our choices, our values, our hopes, our dreams. It is a moment in life when we can look back and click thru memories like a slideshow - some joyful, some deeply sad. And we can look forward with an urgency of yes - yes, try that new hobby, yes, take a chance, because at 50, time is even more sacred. 

To Stephen, my partner for the last 21 years, happy birthday. As you look back today, you must feel proud of the life you have built.  You are a son, a husband, a father, a friend and most importantly, a teacher and coach who has lifted up so many young lives. You have always been the educator who really gets to the fundamental core of working with young people. Just care about them; just love them; just accept them where they are and always believe more in their greatness than they do.  This is you real gift - whether it is as my husband, as Nate, Abby,Thomas's dad or as Mr. Hatton/Coach Hatton - you meet people where they are with no judgement, and you help us see that we are better than we think we are. And that is powerful and changes the trajectory of lives. You keep humor at the center, you are unafraid and strong and always see the positive side of pretty much any situation. And you make sure that. no one under you care is left behind.

On this day of 50, I think about your mom. I believe that the day of a child's birth is a celebration for the child, but is also a deeply sacred day for mothers. Lois is missed on this day. I talk to her daily, pretty much, because I miss her strength, her practicality and her wise view of the long game of life. You are so much like her and I know that on this day, she is with you and is proud of the man and father you are at this very moment in time.  I'm pretty sure she would be nagging you about the unfinished projects in the house, and maybe even gently checking in on our spending habits, but mostly she would be proud of the legacy that her son is building to leave one day to this world. 

Fifty years. And here is to fifty more. You are an extraordinary human being, Stephen. And there are so many journeys yet to still have, in spite of the pandemic. Here's to trying new things, learning new perspectives, taking new chances - all in the hopes that at this time in our lives, we don't ever stop growing as parents, friends, and people. There is so much more to come. Bring it on.